how to stop selling through services and start connecting through feelings

You know that moment when you’re scrolling your feed and you come across something or someone that just clicks with you?

You might not even be able to name why; it just feels right.

That feeling is telling you a lot about how that person or business is approaching their sales and marketing.

I think back to the days when I sold luxury travel.

Travel is a particularly hard service to sell because it’s intangible and full of unknowns. It’s also highly competitive; every travel company has access to the same hotels, the same suppliers, the same airlines. Add in the luxury layer, and you have a pretty discerning audience to convince.

But what I realized pretty quickly is that people aren’t really buying travel. What they’re buying is how travel makes them feel.

Because they want to feel…

Free. Like someone else is managing the details so they can just exist in the moment.

Seen. As if the experience was made for them, not just anyone.

Connected. To the people they’re with, or sometimes to themselves, in a way the day-to-day never allows.

Every itinerary, tour, and upgrade was simply a vehicle for the experience travelers were seeking. When I started framing trips around the impact they created instead of the logistics, everything shifted. It became less about the “what” and more about the feeling the experience delivers.

This is not unique to travel; the concept of selling a feeling instead of a service applies to any business. Here’s how to start doing it.

lead with emotion

The first thing to shift is your mindset. Ask yourself: Before someone works with me, how do they feel? And after, how do they feel?

Then let the answers to those questions guide your messaging. Use words that describe the transformation and the states of being, rather than listing what you offer.

For example, instead of saying, “I offer 1:1 career coaching sessions” try, “If you’re stuck in indecision about your next career move, I help you gain clarity, confidence, and control.”

tell stories that show transformation

Instead of explaining the work you do, use stories to let people experience the shift it creates and see themselves stepping into a new possibility.

A great example of this is toth shop's partnership with Wake Forest University, where we share real student stories to demonstrate the true value of their School of Professional Studies. Using human voices shows what the program actually changes in someone’s life: more clarity, more confidence, and opportunities they never thought possible.

The most compelling proof of transformation comes from witnessing it in another person’s life.

build your process around the human experience

The way you deliver your service should reinforce the emotional experience you promise. In luxury travel, that meant every detail, from the timing of a sunset to the quiet moments between activities, was considered through the lens of how it would feel.

Ask yourself: Does every interaction, every step, and every touchpoint support the feeling I want my client to have?

If your client wants relief, make the process effortless.

If they want confidence, give them clarity at every stage.

If they want connection, create moments that foster belonging.

When your service aligns with the feeling you are promising, it is no longer just a transaction. It becomes an experience, and experiences stick.

final thoughts

How your audience feels is everything. Lead with emotion, tell stories that show transformation, and design every step of your process around the experience you want to create. 

The difference between a service people remember and one they forget is not what you offer, it’s how you make them feel.

And if you want help shaping experiences and messages that truly land, the toth shop team is here to guide you.

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