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60 seconds with katheryn bailey: “empathy and accountability are teammates - not opposites.”
- Dec 15, 2025
- 3 min read
Updated: Dec 17, 2025
hot take: people – not computers – still say the coolest stuff. this series is dedicated to the soundbites, aha! moments & stories that are undeniably human.
The first time I spoke with Katheryn Bailey, I walked away knowing three things with certainty:
She is tough – she was a single mom at 19, who started working right out of high school instead of going to college.
She is accomplished – she is an award-winning project manager, who earned a Master's degree in project management and several industry certifications while working full-time and raising her family.
She is honest – she openly addressed the difficulties of life, including a life-altering multiple sclerosis diagnosis.
I only came to these conclusions because our conversation was not rooted in an algorithm; it was rooted in her lived experiences as a woman, a mother, and a leader. It was rooted in her humanity.
When it came time to kick-off this q&a series, Katheryn was the first person I thought of. So, I sat down with her a second time (as you’ll see below), and again, I walked away knowing that her humanity is her greatest strength—and exactly what this series is meant to spotlight.
– steph
toth shop (ts): People often confuse emotional intelligence with being “nice.” How would you explain what emotional intelligence actually is in a leadership context?
Katheryn Bailey (KB): Emotional intelligence isn’t just “being nice.” It’s the daily discipline of understanding yourself first, and then understanding others well enough to lead in a way that brings out people’s best—even when things are messy. It’s monitoring your own moods and understanding how they affect your team. It’s reading the room before you bulldoze into it.
And, most importantly, it’s having the humility to change your approach when needed. Sometimes that approach should be warm and encouraging, for example, and sometimes it needs to be a tough conversation.
ts: Which aspect of emotional intelligence do you think is the hardest for leaders to master?
KB: Gaining true self-awareness is deceptively hard. Leaders rise through the ranks because they’re good at solving problems, but the hardest ones to diagnose are our own. We all like to believe we’re the reasonable one in the room. But spoiler alert: we’re not always.
It can be really humbling to realize your “helpful feedback” can feel like drive-by critiques to your team. Similarly, your sense of urgency can occasionally be someone else’s panic attack.
But I will say that once a leader becomes genuinely self-aware, everything else gets easier: communication, delegation, and even conflict resolution.
ts: Who has been the most human-centric leader you’ve ever worked for, and what made them stand out?
KB: When I worked at Parata Systems years ago, my manager Tom Bowen was an incredible leader and just a lovely person. My brother had just been diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor, and Tom gave me the space to feel all the feelings that would come with learning something like that. He was always so understanding and showed me how to lead with kindness. He also showed me what it meant to meet people exactly where they are.
I have never forgotten his kindness and grace, and I have carried that forward in my career. I meet people where they are, not where I expect them to be.
ts: How can a leader balance empathy with accountability?
KB: Empathy and accountability are teammates - not opposites. For me, the balance to master was how to lead with understanding while also establishing accountability so that people deliver on commitments. I use a simple equation: Empathy gets people heard; accountability gets the work done.
Empathy without accountability creates chaos. Accountability without empathy creates resentment. But if we put them together, they create trust.
ts: Mile 18 is generally considered to be one of the hardest miles in a marathon. You’re hitting a wall. You’re forced to dig deep. In life, what do you tell yourself when you find yourself in the middle of a mile 18?
KB: I’ve always told my daughter, “Motivation will only take you so far. There is no way you can be motivated all the time. That’s where discipline becomes so important.”
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