stories with dignity: a conversation on ethical storytelling with charlotte family housing’s carissa haslam

At toth shop, we believe the words we choose can shape the way people are seen, understood, and valued.

When we partnered with Charlotte Family Housing (CFH), our shared goal was to humanize several important pieces of their communication – from client materials to their website – so that each story reflects the strength and dignity of the people behind it.

This conversation with Carissa Haslam, CFH’s Marketing & Events Coordinator and 2025 recipient of SHARE Charlotte’s Goodie Award for Best Storyteller, captures what it means to tell stories ethically: with care, respect, and intention.

Her insights remind us that ethical storytelling isn’t just a communications practice.

It’s a way of honoring people and their respective stories. 

toth shop (ts): What first drew you to the idea of ethical storytelling in marketing and communications, and for CFH specifically? Why does it matter to you personally?

Carissa Haslam (CH): I keep a quote on my desk from writer Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie: “Power is the ability to not just tell the story of another person, but to make it the definitive story of that person.” That quote really captures the weight of what we do when we share someone else's story.

I first learned about ethics in the context of journalism. That foundation shaped how I approach my work at CFH. Now, the ethical stakes feel even higher because the stories I tell come from people I care deeply about. We have the privilege of walking alongside families during some of their most difficult moments, hearing vulnerable stories about their struggles and strengths.

When I share these stories, I'm acutely aware that I'm in a position of power. The details I choose to highlight, the language I use, and the audiences I share with – all of these choices shape how people view not just one family, but also how they think about homelessness and poverty more broadly.

I've seen how powerful stories can be in driving real change and inspiring hope. That's what motivates me to take this work seriously. Every time I approach a story, I'm thinking about two things: honoring the trust a family has placed in me, and ensuring that what I share builds empathy rather than reinforcing stereotypes.

ts: When you talk about ethical storytelling, how do you define or describe it?

CH: The goal of ethical storytelling is to tell stories for impact without causing harm to the people or communities whose stories we're sharing. Ideally, the process empowers the storyteller and contributes to their healing, rather than retraumatizing them by forcing them to relive painful experiences for our organizational benefit. Another term I use interchangeably is “trauma-informed storytelling,” because really we’re just applying trauma-informed principles to how we gather and share stories.

For those of us in the nonprofit sector, this means shifting our priorities: putting the needs and dignity of our clients first, and the preferences of our donors and partners second. That can feel counterintuitive when the priority is funding and support, but our clients aren’t props for fundraising. They’re people who deserve agency over their own narratives. If we don’t tell their stories in a way that respects their humanity and supports their well-being, we go against the core values of our organizations.

ts: What are some common mistakes you see brands or organizations make when it comes to telling stories responsibly?

CH: The number one mistake I see is the tendency to make your brand or organization the main character in someone else’s story. When you do that, you diminish the storyteller's agency and dignity to make your organization seem more important.

At CFH, we want to make a meaningful impact on our clients' lives, but ultimately it's their choices, resilience, and determination that create change. We aren't changing their lives. They are changing their own lives. If I tell a story that goes, “Jane Doe's life was really bad, then she came to CFH, then her life was really good,” it completely erases how hard she worked to make that transformation happen.

Another common mistake is manipulating stories to make them “more impactful.” I’ve heard of nonprofits trying to make attendees at their fundraising events cry and read stories that focus entirely on a client's deficiency and needs. I understand the intention, but you don’t have to exploit someone’s trauma to show impact. The true measure of a story isn’t how emotional we can make the audience; it’s whether we honor the people who trusted us with their stories.

ts: For organizations or people who want to practice ethical storytelling, what are the top 2–3 things they should be thinking about before they publish or share content?

CH: The easiest place to start is to put yourself in the story. Before you share it, imagine if this was your story. Are there any parts that feel dehumanizing or unfair? Would you be comfortable with your loved ones reading or watching this if it were about you? That thought experiment can quickly surface issues.

It’s also important to remember that ethical storytelling starts with how stories are collected. Clients don’t owe us their stories just because they’ve received services from our organization. They need to feel in control throughout the entire process.

At CFH, we have policies that ensure clients feel empowered, not pressured. Clients sign informed consent paperwork that clearly outlines where and how their story will be shared, and we compensate them financially for the time they spend participating. Their time and vulnerability have value.

There are also great resources available, like Charlotte Family Housing’s Ethical Storytelling Guide and MemoryFox’s 2024 Ethical Storytelling Report.

ts: How do you balance the tension between impact (grabbing attention and driving engagement) and responsibility (protecting dignity)?

CH: Maybe I’m naive, but I genuinely think stories told responsibly are more impactful. I think audiences are tired of the old models of emotional manipulation. Those stories grab attention, but they don’t build lasting connections. “Trauma porn” generates an immediate reaction, but it also creates distance and encourages othering. It makes the person in the story feel like a distant charity case rather than a full human being.

When we tell stories that honor people’s complexity and agency, we’re inviting our audience into a different kind of relationship. One built on partnership, not pity. People want to invest in hope and possibility, not just tragedy. Ethical storytelling also makes impact more sustainable because it builds trust with clients, with supporters, and with the broader community.

ts: Any other brands or organizations you admire when it comes to ethical storytelling?

CH: I’m a complete fangirl of both the Gates Foundation and International Rescue Committee. They share extremely difficult stories while preserving the dignity of people who are often dehumanized in the media.

I also admire a local nonprofit called Hearts for the Invisible. They tell beautiful impact stories about homelessness that always preserve their clients’ dignity. Lastly, CFH’s Ethical Storytelling Guide was heavily inspired by a nonprofit called Voices of Witness.

Explore more about CFH’s mission, programs, and approach to ethical storytelling at charlottefamilyhousing.org.