60 second q&a with mary johnson: “the way my kids see me is the way i want to see myself.”

There is something deeply moving about watching someone look at a life they’ve spent years building and say: “This isn’t it anymore.” And then have the bravery to actually go out and make a change.

That’s Mary Johnson, who we met when she ran her own content marketing agency and shared an office space with us many, many years ago. But even after the lease ended (thanks, COVID) & life changed and moved forward, we stayed connected. And that connection allowed us to loop Mary into the toth shop team as a trusted partner while making the ultimate pivot – closing her business and going back to school to earn an M.A. in Clinical Mental Health Counseling.

We watched her balance work and family while chasing a calling. We watched her put in the hours to earn her license as a mental health counselor. We watched her show up for her kids by showing up for herself, reminding us all that the most beautiful lives are often the ones we have the courage to redesign.

We’re so proud to have been a small part of her path, and we’re thrilled to share just a snippet of her story with you today.

– Meg & Steph

toth shop (ts): We’re celebrating moms all month long in honor of Mother’s Day. How would you sum up your motherhood journey – in 10 words or less?

Mary Johnson (MJ): Chaotic, hard as hell, heart bursting, and absolutely life-changing.

ts: What’s the most valuable lesson your kids have taught you?

MJ: ​​I can’t pick just one, so here’s a small handful: That there is so much joy to be found in the littlest things. That being a good mom doesn’t always mean making my kids happy. That the way my kids see me is the way I want to see myself. That being present is the key to a life well lived.

ts: After spending a decade in the communications/marketing space, you went back to school in 2022 to earn your M.A. in Clinical Mental Health Counseling. What was the catalyst behind the career shift? How did you navigate that process while balancing all the other things in life (work, family, etc.)?

MJ: I hit a wall in my marketing career in 2021, running up against extreme burnout and general dissatisfaction. It suddenly became clear that I didn’t want to do that work anymore. Less clear was what I wanted to do instead. So, I carved out space in my life and scaled back work to leave room for more in-depth thinking about life and what mattered to me.

Then, I read an article about the mental health challenges among kids and teens. It talked about how much teens were struggling these days (which was hard enough to read), but then it said that, even kids decided they wanted help, they couldn’t find it because there weren’t enough therapists to provide it. That was the moment that changed my life. I wanted to help. I mulled it over, talked it through with friends and family, and found a part-time program that would allow me to keep working while working toward my degree. Six weeks after reading that article, I was enrolled at Wake Forest University.

I get asked quite often how I managed everything during those three years, and I think it comes down to the fact that I really wanted it. I made space in my life because school was so important to me. And fascinating. And inspiring. Our capacity in life is flexible; we can move and shift things to make space for what matters. For those three years, I decided that my family, school, and work came first (in that order) – everything else second. It also quickly became very important to me to show my kids that you don’t have to have your life figured out when you’re young. You can make a change at any point in your life. It’s almost never too late. Those three years were far from perfect, but I’m so grateful I did it.

ts: You’re currently a Program Counselor & Director of Outreach at Mitchell's House in Charlotte, NC, a first-of-its-kind, non-profit counseling center in the U.S. to focus on children and families facing medical trauma. What drew you to this work? And what’s been a lightbulb or aha! moment that had you thinking, “Yes, I made the right choice to change careers.”?

MJ: I had the opportunity to do all my clinical training at Levine Children’s Hospital, and that was another pivotal moment. At first, I was terrified, but I remember going to see my first client in the pediatric ICU. He was about the same age as my son at the time, and he had suffered a horrific illness. I left his hospital room in tears, but I also left full of ideas for how I could engage him and support him – how I could bring some light into what were some very dark days. That’s when I knew this was what I wanted to do. It’s incredibly hard to see children and families going through significant medical challenges, but there is so much love and resilience there, too. It felt like an opportunity to make a meaningful difference among a population that had been hit with so much hardship, and I just loved it.

When I found my way to Mitchell’s House, it felt like coming home. I love providing a safe space for children and families to find support when they need it – a place where they can process all the unfairness that life has thrown at them and find ways to move forward. And because we are a nonprofit organization, we are able to provide that support for free, allowing us to serve every family in need, regardless of their ability to pay. I can’t imagine doing anything else.

ts: Every person we interview answers this same question last – mile 18 is generally considered to be one of the hardest miles in a marathon. You’re hitting a wall; you’re forced to dig deep. What’s mile 18 in your line of work or at a point in your career, and what do you tell yourself when you find yourself in the middle of a mile 18?

MJ: This is a tough one. I honestly feel like 2021 was mile 18 for me: the moment when I realized I was in a career doing work I didn’t want to be doing.

It has never been easy for me to quit. I feel a lot of accountability and have struggled my whole life with people pleasing, so it’s hard for me to cut through all of that and make the decision that’s right for me. It was a truly brutal year, particularly the end of it, and I didn’t know how to extricate myself from my old identity.

And the thought of building a new one? Extremely daunting. I was also on the cusp of turning 40, just to amp up the pressure. At the time, I remember looking at school as this insane three-year commitment. Then I reminded myself, “Three years are going to pass anyway. I can hit 43 and be in the same place, or I can be where I want to be.” That made the decision infinitely easier.

So, I guess that translates into keeping your eyes on what you want, especially when where you’re at feels impossible. There’s this Nelson Mandela quote that I love and that hangs on the wall of my bedroom: “It always seems impossible until it is done.” Truer words have never been spoken.